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The Worst Age
'Sixty is the worst age to be,' said the 60-year-old. 'You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!' 'Ah, that's nothin',' said the 70-year-old.more
Recognizing George
A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned that somebody would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George's two friends, Joe and Al. Joe: 'He's burnt pretty bad, all right.more
The Docters Cure
A man went to see his docter concerned about a mysterious ring that he had found around the tip of his penis. The docter looked him over and immediatly gave him a lotion to rub around the infected spot and told him to come and see him in the morning.more
Gambling
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.more
Alimony
'Mr. johns, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court judge said, 'and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week.more
With A Little Help From Friends
An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him.more
Jewish Business
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was trudging through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried towards it, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.more
JOKE OF THE DAY There's a senior citizen driving on the... More
tv schedule11:00 PM The Daily Show with Jon Stewart11:30 PM The Colbert Report showsSouth ParkMind of MenciaThe Daily ShowShowbiz ShowThe Colbert Report videosMotherLoadThe Daily Show HeadlineMind of MenciaSouth ParkColbert Report gamesShowbiz: Walkmore
Pregnancy Advice
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea 'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do.' 'Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No.more
Doctor Qualities
First year students at Medical School were receiving Their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.more
Presidential Contest
The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc.more
Playing Doctor
Two married men are in a pub discussing their love life when one says, 'Have you ever tried playing doctor?' His mate says, 'No what's it like?more
Looking For Cops
A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.more
Bird Viagra
A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.more
Rules Are Rules
Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: 'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you.more
Take The Champagne!
A man enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone.more
Leaving Early
A BRUNETTE, A REDHEAD & A BLONDE all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her.more
Cold Water
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.more
JOKE OF THE DAY There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in the clo More
Greg Giraldo on Jon Lovitz: 'There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in themore
Going To Iraq
A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath, he asked, 'Please may I hide under your skirt? I'll explain later'. The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, 'Sister have you seen a soldier?' The nun replied, âHe went that way.more
A Second Opinion
The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, 'You aren't that good in bed either!' By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.more
JOKE OF THE DAY In honor of the late George Carlin... More
'In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say onmore
Having A Puppy
A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father: 'Daddy, what are they doing?' The father says: 'They are Making a puppy'. So they walk on and go home.more
Smart Hiding
There's an English man, Irish man and a Scotsman. They're being chased by a policeman. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack.more
Letter from College
Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I've made lot$ of friend$ and am $tudying hard. With all my $tuff i $imply can't think of anything i need, $o if you would like you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, your $on.more
Before It Starts
A man comes home from work, sits in his lazyboy in front of the TV and rudely tells his wife, 'Gimme a beer before it starts.' She gives him his beer. About 15 minutes later, he says again, 'Gimme a beer before it starts.' She does.more
New AOL Messages
Since AOL has introduce there unlimited hours package they have started displaying special messages to customers. 1. You have been on-line for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay on-line? Please respond within 10 minutes, or you will be logged off.more